Here’s how Princess Kate rolls ONE DAY after giving birth to the future King of England:

{Slow Clap}.

That, friends, is a woman with a newborn who took a shower AND brushed her teeth on the same day.

Not only did she look stunning, she carried her baby and walked–unassisted and without limping–down a flight of stairs into a gaggle of the World’s press. Without so much as one grimace.

Let’s compare Kate’s exit to how I left the hospital, THREE days after birthing Suzianne:

I can haz 10 Motrin?

That is a photo of a woman who has not bathed in four days. Although, I did manage to brush my teeth on Day Two:

When I left the hospital, I was wheeled out. Not just because it was hospital protocol, but because I could not hardly walk.

I wore pajamas and house shoes–the same exact outfit that I would wear for the next three days. Probably longer, had Suzianne not peed all over it.

Over the next three weeks, I would be completely overwhelmed and paralyzed at the very thought of having to greet visitors. Even when they were family members.

My pregnancy and labor were nearly perfect, but the act of giving birth really wrecked my body and mind. If ever there was a time to be happy NOT to be a Royal, it was this week, as I watched a woman who just gave birth greet the World graciously and gracefully. Two things it literally took me months to do…and no one was publishing my picture or commenting on the remains of my bump.