This week, Suzianne has discovered her ability to refuse things, and she’s workin’ it like a boss. Who can blame her when I’m torturing her with evil devices such as a hair brush and pants?

I bet your parents never made you wear pants.

You know that sweet, cuddly, patient version of my spouse? You just try to outfit her with footie pajamas and see what happens. Then, there’s the awesome train wreck of me trimming her infant claws.

I’m baffled by how someone who hasn’t yet been on the Earth a whole year can be so strong and persistent.

Any day now, she’ll have discovered and perfected her ability to throw me the “Oh, Mother, please” eye roll.

This morning, as she was attempting to gum her way to freedom while I was tackling her Heat Miser hair, I looked her in the eye and gave a stern “STOP IT.” Her look back was all, “Nice one momma. Are you finished? I was kind of in the middle of a protest.”

She’s nine months old, ya’ll.

Lord help us.