There’s all sorts of things no one tells you about pregnancy. Same goes for life after a baby. But the one thing I SWEAR NO ONE TOLD ME was that a woman’s breasts may actually be SMALLER after breastfeeding than they were prior to breastfeeding.

I want those of you who know me to think about that.

… … …


Let’s reflect a bit: I have never been a curvy gal, but I had grown accustom to the little bit of curve The Good Lord gave me. Then, I got preggers! AND OMG, THE CURVES! I felt sexy, even while carrying what turned out to be an 8.5 pound replica of my spouse.

After Suzianne was born, I got curvier! The girls went up a full cup size! Um, that would be a B, but still. I got used to having my B’s and sported them proudly. When I stopped breastfeeding, the gals were sore for about two weeks…

Then, one morning, THEY WERE GONE.


Poof, ya’ll.

How can this happen when I had so little to begin with? I’m really struggling with this, as vein and trivial as it is. I can’t help it.

So, today I marched my tiny chest right over to Victoria’s Secret, where a delightful gal named Josie fitted me for bras.

Josie: “Well, it looks like you’re really a 30A. We don’t actually carry bras that small in the store. You have to special order them.”

Me: “Yeah, well, let’s find me a 32A that mostly fits. I cannot make myself purchase a bra so small that someone with tiny hands in a sweat shop somewhere had to custom sew to fit my freakish frame.”

Josie: “Okay, then!”

I ended up buying three of these. Great fit; fun colors. I feel a little more confident about the way I look now that I’m not wearing a bra that is 75 sizes too big. But I’m still sad that my beloved B’s are gone. {sniff, sniff.}

Anyway, when this happens to you, ladies, don’t mope about for two months like I did. Seek professional help; find your Josie. Retail therapy is the only way to rise above the body image issues that accompany overnight deflation.

Six Months!

OMG, another month has passed since I blogged. Geez o Pete! Well, anyway: Greetings from San Diego! Suzianne spent much of her sixth month hotel hopping and watching mommy lose her mind due to clutter, lost items and the debate about how much baby Orajel is too much baby Orajel.

We looked like this for a week while Dave was driving across the country with his tea cup poodle:

But whatever. She’s a happy, healthy camper and that’s all that matters:

I’m pretty sure that picture is blurry, but it’s cute, so I’m going with it. Although, this one is a more accurate representation of what we see everyday:

This month, we watched in awe as Suzianne became more and more human-like. She now sits up without support:

She tries to hold the bottle on her own:

Note the bags under her eyes…this was taken at 5:40 a.m. today. If you’d sleep a little later, Suzianne, maybe you wouldn’t have those bags…and neither would mommy. Just a thought.

She turns pages in a book:

And then eats them:

She also attempts to pull the poodle’s ears, which I don’t have a picture of because I immediately pounce upon her to prevent Georgia’s ears from detatching from her head.

Oh! And she laughs when we laugh. She is amused by our amusement, as Dave says. Also, she smiles on command and seems to know that an iPhone in front of her face means “smile.”

All in all, Suzianne is thrilled with this move and so are we. We’ve found a fabulous nanny-share family, a great dog groomer, and I can’t even tell you how awesome it is to live one mile from my momma again! Granny Sue Sue and Suzianne are quite the pair and I’m so happy they now are neighbors.

I really do promise to start blogging more frequently. In the meantime…watch her grow! Take a scroll through the Month-by-Month archives.