Five minutes in the morning with Suzianne Newman

Good morning, momma! Thank you for breakfast. LIFE IS SO AWESOME:

Wait. I suddenly am starting to get sleepy and might need to poop as well. LIFE IS SO COMPLICATED:

Have you ever had to poop when you are super tired? LIFE SUCKS, MOMMA. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?

Wow. I really do feel so much better after I poop on you. But, I no longer know if you are to be trusted:

Have I mentioned I’m tired? Why am I not asleep yet? This surely is your fault, momma:

Oh, geez, the hiccups. Really, momma? Why must you torture me?

It doesn’t matter. I’m not really tired anymore anyway. I’ll just rest my eyes for a bit until I wake up STARVING because you NEVER feed me: